


(Just) After the Rain

by EGRIS



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: F/M, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Past Violence, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EGRIS/pseuds/EGRIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Norman struggles to get his life back.<br/>Just a little something I'm working on right now (working still), reviews are welcome. Here to learn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Just) After the Rain

He felt the gloom lurking back to take over, the rehab side effect, he needed to do something to escape it. He headed down a familiar street into a familiar diner, it was an exceptionally small and retro place, but the only one open 24/7. He had wondered there often, trying to escape the nightmares, it had grown into a link to the real world for him. It had horrible coffee and even worse food, but it was most always empty, so he could be alone with his thoughts.  
The door opened with a familiar creak, he sat down by the counter and saw her appearing from the back. She must have been his only friend, at least that what he thought of her.  
"Hi, Norman," Cyan greeted him with a soft voice, her trademark, and put a steaming cup of coffee in front of him. He hadn't really never figured her out and absolutely loved to listen to her quirky way of thinking when he told her about some of that cases he was in a dead end. "Maybe it's not two killers, maybe he just changed his taste, like for ten years I only ate strawberry ice cream and then suddenly, one day I was like meh, I wanna eat chocolate ice cream now," she talked, "and didn't even look at the strawberry ice cream for years," and she had been right, it turned out to be just one serial killer, using the same method but now men instead of women. And only her quirky sense of humor had made him laugh, most sincerely, "I was named Cyan, cuz when I was borned had the umbilical cord around my neck and had turned totally blue, thank goodness I didn't turn green, might have been named Jennifer or Tiffany or something weird."  
"Is it still horrible?" he asked.  
"Horrible as ever," she laughed and asked with concern, "How are you doing, Norman, haven't seen you long and you look horrible, a bad case?”  
"The last one."  
"That bad," she pulled a chair opposite to him and sat down, having a cup of coffee herself.  
"I quit the bureau ... and ARI, I'm done with all that stuff."  
"It'll get easier, you just have to hold on," she brushed her hand gently across his cheek and smiled compassionately. Cyan might have looked innocent but there was this darkness around her, yet she had learned to not let that darkness affect her, just sometimes she could rely on some dark memory that actually gave her consoling words leverage. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her touch, "Thank you."  
Suddenly there was a loud noise from the kitchen, it was the night cook, and Norman was startled back to reality, searched something from his jacket pocket and placed a DVD case on the counter. He knew her story, when Cyan was still living in the orphanage the local movie theater's owner allowed children from there to attend it for free. She tried to keep off the streets and almost lived there, falling hopelessly in love with the movies.  
"I came across this and remembered you wanting to see it."  
She took look at the DVD and was surprised, "The Phantom Planet, how did you," she looked back at him, "Did you watch it?”  
"I hoped we could watch it together," he wasn't sure where he took the strength to ask her that.  
"That sounds great, I live just around the corner here, want to see a good movie and have a good cup of coffee, instead of that," she pointed at the cup.  
"Right now?" he felt totally derailed.  
She took the cup from his hand and put it back on the counter, "Last I heard you were unemployed and do you see a happy hour here."  
"To your place, aren't you afraid I might turn out to be a rapist or a murderer?”  
"Are you?”  
"No, god not."  
"Then it's settled," she stood up and yelled to the kitchen, "I'm taking off for the night now."  
"Yeah, whatever," someone yelled back from there.  
________________________________________  
Norman was still confused, never had he expected that, he was almost scared - she was taking this friendship into the real world for him. Cyan took of her apron and stepped out from behind the counter. "Let's go then," she smiled and opened the door.  
Cyan lived in a rundown apartment building, just as could have been expected from this neighborhood. She lived in very poor conditions, "It's not much," she apologized.  
"It's just fine," he took his coat off and hung to the rack next to him.  
"As promised, the best coffee around here," she put the DVD on the table and headed to the kitchen corner.  
Norman took the DVD, he saw her TV and the, it was a one room apartment after all.  
"I'll just hook this up," he tried to be helpful. He got all set up and sat down on the couch just as Cyan finished with the coffees, she handed him a cup. Just one sip and Norman was sold, this was really the best cup of coffee he had ever had.  
"This is fabulous," he noted.  
"Told you," she had some to drink and placed her cup also on the small table in the middle of the table. He took the remote and turned the movie on, Cyan joined him on the couch.  
At the beginning Cyan sat quite far from him, without even noticing they slowly moved closer to each other, she got lost in telling stuff about the movies and they finished up their drinks.  
"Next time you should pick the movie," he proposed.  
"Next time?" she was quicker to pick up the surprise.  
"Yeah," Norman put his arm around Cyan and pulled her tightly against himself. He was almost ready to get slapped by her for doing that, instead she rested her head on his chest, "Yeah," she whispered. He wrapped his other hand around her and kissed the top on her head.  
"I was so lost," he said slowly, "My therapist told to cling on to anything good in my life, if the darkness starts to take over, I was almost about to do something terrible last night," he headed into a dismal place, Cyan felt his heart slowing down, "Then I knew, I had to see you, Cyan," he started to return, "Could you at least consider giving me a chance, I don't know what this rehab will do to me, but I promise, I'll do my best to make you happy."  
________________________________________  
Cyan woke up thinking last night was just a dream, then she felt something warm next to her, smelled his scent and heard the familiar soothing heartbeat. For a moment there Cyan was afraid that this was still a dream, but after opening her eyes and seeing him there it all settled in. They were still on her couch, still in the clothes they had on last night, still in each other’s arms.  
"Good morning," Norman was already awake, he didn't want to wake her so he just waited quietly.  
"Morning," she replied, with a smile.  
"How about breakfast?" he asked, "Anything you want, I'll make it."  
Cyan looked away with slight embarrassment, "The thing is, I don't really have anything, even yesterday’s coffee I "borrowed" from the diner."  
Norman smirked and pulled her closer for a hug, "That's okay, let's go to my place, I have something for sure."  
Norman's apartment looked like night and day compared to Cyan's, is was a spacious studio apartment with very minimalistic interior design. It looked also very expensive for Cyan, more than it actually was.  
"I'll see what's in the fridge," he told her, "You just feel right at home," and he disappeared around the corner, Cyan followed him whilst examined the surroundings with awe.  
"Why exactly do you visit the diner if you can afford this place," Cyan was amazed.  
"To get another perspective, at first, then it just started to feel homey,"  
"A-hah," she wasn't buying the end of his story.  
"How about an omelet?" he had grabbed armful of items from the fridge and closed the door.  
"Sounds perfect," Cyan sat down behind the kitchen table.  
"Next time I'll take you out for a real date," Norman promised and cleaned away the used dishes from the table.  
"A movie and breakfast, sounds like a real date for me," Cyan got up and walked by the huge window in the living room part of the apartment. This time he followed her, he put his arms around her and hugged her from sky was covered with clouds and everything looked gloomy in the outside. That was not helping in keeping his spirit high, thankfully he had Cyan there.  
"Cyan," he said with a soft voice, "Move here...with me."  
She turned around and looked him in the eyes, "Norman, isn't that a bit soon," she looked down, "I've been burned too many times," Cyan's eyes moved back up, "Let's just say, I'll stay for the day."  
________________________________________  
After the most spontaneous last night they had both had a shower and a change of clothes, because Cyan had nothing to change into she was still wearing one of Norman’s shirts and a pair of his socks. It was almost midnight, they just finished another old sci-fi movie from his computer, lounging on his enormous sofa. Haven't done nothing more than just been in each other’s embrace, Norman was well aware of Cyan's past and the last thing he would have wanted to do was to scare her off, so he decided to wait for her to make the first move or at least give him a direct permission.  
She looked at him and saw that his face had turned pale and was covered with heavy sweat.  
"Norman," she almost jumped up and put a hand on his forehead, "Are you okay?”  
"I feel so cold," replied faintly.  
"Well you're burning up," Cyan reported the feel in her hand.  
"Don't worry about me, it'll pass," he continued, "If you want to go away, I'll understand."  
"Are you insane, I'm not leaving you here like this," she argued, "How long have you been sober?”  
________________________________________  
She knew about the triptocaine for about a year now. It was an unusually hot summer night, Cyan actually felt happy after a long time. She was looking forward to the end of her shift, bored out of her head. For a moment the evening promised to get even better, she spotted a familiar silhouette at the door. Cyan was about to say something witty when she saw him - pale, sweaty, trembling, blood dripping down from his nose - panic took over her.  
"What happened to you, Norman?" she ran to him and caught him on her shoulder just as he was about to fall. She guided him to the nearest table and sat down on a chair next to it and started to go back behind the counter, "I'll call 911."  
“No," he grabbed her hand and stopped her. Norman knew well that if Cyan called the ambulance, they will find out about the tripto and so would the FBI and he will get fired.  
"No," he repeated, Cyan grew cautious and sat to the chair next to him.  
"Why not?" she asked.  
"I need it, it's in my jacket pocket," he could only ramble, "I can't find the pocket."  
She reached down to his jacket pocket and found a small vial in there, her heart dropped as she took it out and looked at it.  
"What is it?" she asked, this time with a strict voice but still she gave the vial to him. He took a sniff and started to gather himself, "Could I be here for a while?" too ashamed of himself to look her in the eye.  
"Just tell me if it gets worse," Cyan allowed and left Norman alone. She never judged him after that, everyone had their reasons was her point of view.  
________________________________________  
Hours passed, Norman was resting on his bed, Cyan next to him, guarding him. He felt  
A bit better, "Last night when I was with you, there were no seizures," he said almost whispering, "I hoped if you stay here they will end."  
"Is that the reason you wanted me to move here?" she asked also whispering.  
"No, don't you ever think that, Cyan," he looked at her, she stroke his cheek gently, looking into his eyes she moved closer and kissed him.  
The next day started unusually normally, Cyan heated up yesterday's dinner’s leftovers for breakfast. She changed into her old clothes finally, "I really should go home sometime," she frowned.  
"Have you thought about moving here?" Norman asked her.  
"Is that what you really really...the soberest you want?”  
"I do," he looked at her as he would fall apart into a million pieces if she said no. Cyan struggled with her own insecurities, in one hand there was the feeling of burning bridges too early but on the other hand these last days had totally changed her opinion of him. She had always found him handsome, smart and witty, but previously she had pictured him as this high maintenance sophisticated guy, who had his life together - well so and so. She instead was a mess all over, with crappy job, apartment and life, nothing like the women she always pictured him with. There still was that easy going and fun guy there, but there was also this total opposite side to him now, this unemployed drug addict trying to climb out of the hole his weaknesses had dragged him into, quite pathetic if one needed to be judgmental.  
"Guess I have some packing to do then," she made his day.  
She only had one suitcase full of stuff to bring over, on the way she quit her job also. That wasn't a hard decision, Cyan knew she could go back there any time she wanted, had already done it like six time before, but with these hours and that pay, they could find anyone to replace her, so she could basically always go back there again.  
________________________________________  
Cyan had hoped that last night's episode was one of the bad ones, she had no ideas how wrong that was. She woke to a sound of running water, ran her hand across the side of bed Norman was sleeping, to her surprise it was empty. Why was he taking a shower in the middle of the night - was the first thought in her mind. The bathroom's door was open, letting in the only light in the room, Cyan felt curious and tiptoed to take a peek.  
Norman was standing in the shower corner, fully suited up, scratching his left arm with fear in his eyes. He had already gone through his sleeves and reached to break his skin into bleeding.  
"Norman," Cyan yelled out.  
He looked at her for a moment and continued, "They are under the skin," he almost growled. Cyan rushed to him and took a hold of his hands, to keep him further hurting himself, "Norman, get a hold of yourself."  
"I can't let them reach my brain, " he tried to struggle free. She let go of his left hand just to slap him, "Snap out of it !"  
Just one didn't help, so she slapped him again couple of times, finally his mind cleared and a great confusion took over him. He almost fell to his knees, Cyan knelt next to him and turned off the water. Norman looked at himself and tears started running from his eyes.  
"What happened ?" he asked sobbing and looked at Cyan like a lost puppy.  
"You had a bad episode," she pushed his hair back from his forehead.  
"I was going to work and these crawly things were in my arm..."  
"It's okay now, you're safe," she pulled his head on her shoulder and put her arm around him. Norman wanted to say something to apologize but couldn't say anything over crying his heart out.  
________________________________________  
Monday started out sunny, besides having Cyan living there Norman was also happy that now he had the best coffee in the world every morning.  
"I have therapy at eleven today," he said, "I thought, I can give you my credit card, you can go shopping, get whatever you want...need."  
"I think I'll be just fine here," Cyan felt a bit uncomfortable taking his money.  
"About last night," he looked away from her, "I'm so sorry."  
"Tell that to your suit," Cyan knew he felt really embarrassed about it, so she turned it into a light joke.  
Norman put his shoes on and was ready to go, "See you soo..."  
Cyan interrupted him with a long and passionate kiss, he wrapped his arms around her and didn't almost want to let go.  
"Good luck," she said eventually with a smile. Norman almost wanted to get mad with her - sure, now he was in a great place to go somewhere.  
________________________________________  
Norman had told her that he'll be back in about three hours, it had been about double that time. Cyan was worried, almost enough to call to the police. A huge relief took over her when she heard the door opening. She almost ran to the entry and jumped to hug him, almost knocking him off his feet.  
"Evening," Norman said to her.  
"I almost thought you had an episode somewhere," Cyan replied, "What kept you ?"  
They moved on to the living room area, "I told my therapist all about you," he told, "and then he got me thinking, so I remembered that Washington Homicide offered me a consulting spot there, I drove there and took the job as a profiler and the best part is that I can do most of the work at home."  
That was sudden - but all Cyan could do was to be happy for him - he was getting his life back.  
"We should celebrate," he was just glowing.  
Cyan put on her prettiest dress, Norman changed into his best, trademark, suit and they had dinner this evening at the nicest restaurant that still had seats open.  
She might have originally been from the same kind of poor and miserable conditions she had been living in nowadays, there must have been time when she had live in another kind of world. Although she never talked about it, he was sure of it, she just knew too much and sometimes her behavior wasn't quite cohesive.  
The only light in the room was a dim set of wall lamps, Cyan heard the piano, yet another thing that melted her heart. She had always been envious towards anyone who could play an instrument. During the day she had wondered about the grand piano in the corner of the living room, it felt super sexy to that Norman could actually play that. She walked next to it and felt ready, unzipped her dress letting it fall to the floor.  
"Well mister profiler," she said with a sultry voice and leaned against the piano, "What do you make of this case ?"  
"I would say," he kept playing, "A really attractive and sexy female, finding this irresistible, " he pointed at himself, still a bit afraid of scaring her away.  
"I think you are close to solving this case," Cyan had to admit.  
Then it started once again, Norman pushed down wrong keys and felt his hand started shaking again. Cyan's seductive glance had turned into horror, "You're bleeding," she said, he wiped his nose and saw blood on his hand. "Let me get that," Cyan rushed to get some paper towels from the kitchen.  
Norman felt like choking, he felt that his heart stopped beating and the blood in his veins stopped running. He stood up and stumbled somehow to the window, Cyan returned and tried to stop him from falling down. He felt his head spinning around and sat down on the windowsill.  
"Norman, hold on," she wiped the blood off his face and sat next to him.  
"I think I'm gonna die now," he said faintly.  
"No," she wrapped her arms around him, “I’m not letting go and don’t you dare."  
He leaned against her, feeling a little better Norman was glad that this time he didn't checked out completely, he could feel and hear Cyan.  
"I don't deserve you, Cyan," he said sobbing, he really wanted tonight to go right. Norman was just so disappointed with himself, Cyan had been so happy. Only solace was that she had stayed with him, helping to get him through these terrifying withdrawals. He couldn't imagine how bad it would have been without her being there. For her he wanted to be a better man, resisting the urge to get more tripto countless times every day.  
"Don't say that," she stroke his hair and said, "And don't you ever think more of me than I really am, I know what you're going through all too well, but I had no-one so I fell back so many times," she was also about to burst into tears. This was the hardest part for her, letting someone close to her. Having sex meant nothing to her, it was just letting someone close to her body, if it got hurt, it'll just heal in time and she could go on. But letting someone into her soul, trusting someone with the power to completely destroy her.  
"I really care about you, Norman, together we can beat this," she changed the subject, "Would you play for me again ?"  
"Yes," he agreed and tried to smile, Cyan was happy just to see Norman feeling a bit better, physically at least.  
________________________________________  
Cyan slept in, she didn't have any responsibilities so she actually couldn't express herself that way - that thought made her laugh. She opened her eyes, it was another sunny summer day, and got up, she was alone in the bed but there was noises coming from the kitchen. She walked to the dresser and picked up a used shirt of his, it smelled like him, Cyan closed her eyes and just enjoyed the moment. Never in her life had she been with someone like this, they had spent four nights together, just sleeping next to each other, nothing more.  
She slipped the shirt on and walked to the kitchen, half of the breakfast was already set on the table and Norman was busy finishing the other half. After noticing her he immediately put everything down and rushed to her, he pulled her close and kissed her.  
"Good morning, beautiful," he greeted her, "Sit down, breakfast will be ready soon," he almost flew back to cooking. Cyan sat down and squinted suspiciously, "Who are you and what did you do with my Norman ?"  
It was such a lovely day and Norman had the day completely off, he suggested spending the day somewhere out of the apartment, Cyan agreed with him. Norman's apartment was in a way better neighborhood than Cyan's had been, they didn't even take his car, just walked out and saw where their feet took them. Not far from there was a small park.  
"It's funny," Cyan said, "I've lived in this town all my life yet I've never been here," she stepped on an edge of a foundation. This way she was almost as tall as Norman as he stood in front of her and took a hold of both of her hands, "You look better today," she looked straight to his eyes.  
"I feel better," he replied and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
"Agent Jayden," called out a male voice that broke awkwardly their moment, "agent Jayden, it is you," Norman turned to the caller, it was an elderly man.  
"Oh, I didn't want to intrude but I really had to thank you again," he said and shook Norman's hand, "Thank you for catching my son's murderer."  
"Just doing my job," he accepted with modesty.  
"If it weren't for you, agent Jayden, my Charles couldn't rest in peace."  
"It's not agent anymore," Norman intervened.  
"Hmm," the old man was slightly disappointed, "Well we all have to take our own paths in this life you look to be doing well agent...mister Jayden, oh, if there is anything I could do for you just ask but don't let me keep you and the missis, good day," he shook Norman's hand one more time, "Such a good day," he walked off on his way.  
They both heard it and knew that the other one did too - you and the missis - for now that was too much to deal with, so without saying it out loud they both agreed to not mention anything more about it.  
Norman grabbed Cyan by her waist and lifted her down from the edge. Cyan chuckled and poked him, "You're famous."  
"I wouldn't call that being famous."  
"I can't call you at all, wanna know what I realized, we live together but I don't even know your phone number."  
"Really ?" Norman was sincerely surprised, "No problem, write it down."  
"Well the thing is," Cyan was a bit embarrassed, "I don't really have a phone either."  
"What kind of a human being are you, Cyan ?"  
"I did, but it got stolen when I was walking to work at Friday."  
Norman wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, it was simultaneously funny, sad and frightening. He was also glad, now he had a plan what to do with the day.  
________________________________________  
The huge window was open and a warm summer breeze blew in, Cyan walked pass the stereo and turned it on. She stopped next to Norman and tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around and saw her extremely clear invitation to dance.  
"I can't dance," he said and blushed.  
"You play the piano but can't dance ?"  
"Nobody's perfect."  
"Come," Cyan grabbed his hand, "I'll teach you," and led Norman to the open area by the window.  
He couldn't say no to her. She stood right in front of him and put his hands on her waist, "The easiest to start with, just feel the music and step," Cyan showed some steppes for example and Norman tried to mimic her. At first it turned out quite clumsily, Cyan wanted to laugh so bad but held herself back, after a while he almost mastered the easiest steps.  
"How do you do it ?" Norman asked, locking his eyes to hers, "How do you look so normal with everything you've been through. How did you got over the bad things ?"  
"Getting over things," she sighed, "I hate that saying, makes it sound like all the shit you are put up to is just a common cold - got over it - I think you never do, just learn to live with it as best as is possible, remember the good things."  
"Where do you take all that strength ?" she could tell that he was trying to profile her, to use every piece of knowledge and experience to figure her out.  
"There must be something good in this world, to balance the bad things."  
"You believe ?"  
"I do, just don't ask me why," she smiled, "Maybe I just have the need to validate my existence, that it meant something, getting hurt I mean."  
"I've never met anyone who thinks like that."  
"I can tell you more, if you promise me that afterward you don't think of me as a lost kitten who needs saving," Cyan tone turned dead serious.  
"Why do you think that way ?"  
"I've seen it too many times." she broke off the dance, "Promise me and you have to keep that promise, Norman."  
"I promise," he said and they sat down onto the windowsill.  
"I was fourteen," she totally detached herself from what she was about to say and looked away from him, "It was Christmas, when other people get together with their families and have good time, together, I just had to hope that my mother wasn't lying dead, overdosed in the puddle of her own blood...that Christmas she did, " Norman felt like he'd been hit in the head with a heavy object, Cyan continued without any emotion, "I went to her place, thinking the worst that could happen was that one of her...client...was there and I'll have to wait outside again," he was fighting hard to keep his promise, he would have wanted to hold her and comfort her, she continued, “Well the last one was there...he had paid in advance...he got angry and stabbed me five times," Norman's heart started to bleed, he gently placed his hand on her shoulder, “The next day my social worker came to see why I wasn't back yet," Cyan returned to him, she looked at him again, “All I could think about on that floor there was...was that what I deserved, I can't die like this." Then she checked out again, looking away, "Time went on, I waited for a change, wanted so much to be lo...belong...letting myself be victimized once again, down in the gutter, still alive...still alive," suddenly she turned back to him and looked as confident as ever, "I learned something, I didn't deserve this, I was letting it to go on, ...I can't change anything that happened but I can change my future so never think of me as the victim but a survivor."  
He realized that he had been in the minds of criminals for so long and had forgotten about the victims and survivors, exactly what he himself was right now, a victim thriving to become a survivor. Unfortunately he became skeptical about Cyan, was she just burying everything until it will rot and explode one day or did she really know the answer and was stronger than he ever imagined.  
"And I really appreciate all the things you got for me today, Norman, just don't let this go into trying to save me before you are done saving yourself, that's why I took a chance with you, you want to survive" she moved closer to him and did the thing the thing she was really good at, "And you're really cute," Cyan said without a care and kissed his neck. Norman knew that took a whole lot from her, opening her soul, he didn't want to make her feel any worse so he acted smart and dropped the subject for now.  
________________________________________  
Cyan landed next to him, she rested her head on the backrest of the sofa and looked at him. Norman tried to pay attention to the movie they were watching this evening but was distracted by Cyan's glance.  
"What ?" he turned to her, she smiled contentedly, "You."  
"What about me ?" he was kind of lost.  
"I used to think that your life was something completely else."  
"How ?"  
"I knew about your work, when you came to the diner and asked my opinion but I figured that off work you are this life-all-worked-out guy, all sleek and suave, smooth with the ladies but now I know that you're just a dork, like me."  
"Are you disappointed ?"  
"Quite the opposite, always figured that you saw me just as a talking piece of furniture, that I would be too common to even be on your list."  
"I'm nothing like that," he took a hold of her hand, "I only want that special someone of my own."  
"And you are just the sweetest," she leaned in to kiss him, "Weird and sweet."  
"Weird ?"  
Cyan moved to sit on his lap, facing him and planting another kiss on his lips, "You asked me to move in with you before the first kiss."  
"I would have moved under a bridge, just to have you close, Cyan," he curled a lock of her hair around his fingers, "Thought you might like this place better."  
"This IS much nicer than under a bridge," she tilted her head, "Maybe I'm the weird one, just this is all new, nobody's ever wanted to be with me without expecting anything back."  
Norman knew what she was referring to, "I would never want to do anything you don't want, Cyan, I will wait until you're ready.”  
They were both in a fragile state and neither wanted to ruin anything by moving too fast.  
"I know," Cyan rested her forehead on his, “Let’s get you better and then.”  
For the first time in her life Cyan saw someone who was willing to wait with sex, and for the first time in her life she was ready to give that a chance. But, oh, did she want to go all the way, she had had a crush on him from the first time they met. Within the last few days the feeling had grown and now she could clearly identify that she had fallen in love with him. A bit cautious though with accepting these feelings, she still had no idea how Norman really felt about her. Was he really all that or was he just substituting his tripto addiction with her, to figure that out, he had to get clean first.  
________________________________________  
The alarm clock started to buzz breaking up the silence of the morning. Norman turned it off quickly, he had totally forgotten about it. Cyan raised her head from his chest and looked up, every time she touched or was close to him she felt butterflies in her stomach. She smiled to him and felt more weightless than she had ever before drowning into his eyes, Cyan had never seen someone with green eyes before.  
"Morning, beautiful," he said and caressed her hair, "How was your sleep?"  
"Morning...handsome," Cyan replied, she tried to be smooth but as ever it turned out to be laughably awkward, "It was good, the part before was better."  
"Mmmm...If only I didn't have to go to work."  
________________________________________  
It had only been twenty minutes, felt more like six hours, Cyan had nothing to do. She tried speeding the time up by lying under the piano, on the dining table, sitting next to the fridge, on the stairs. Standing upside down on her hands in the shower. The only thing keeping her from going totally crazy was the constant worry, that Norman might have an episode somewhere, it had been quite long from the last one. Cyan had no idea how she survived the hours waiting for him but when he finally returned to home she just clanged to him, Norman pulled her tightly close to himself feeling less vulnerable. He had actually felt sort of comfortable getting back into work-mode but the dark shadow of withdrawals was following him everywhere.  
"I missed you," he said.  
"I missed you too," she had the same exact thought, "How did everything go ?"  
"They filled me in with some cases, I don't really have to go back in this week anymore," he kept hugging her.  
"How do you feel ?"  
"Stable."  
"That's good," she felt relieved.  
________________________________________  
Cyan woke to Norman's irregular and shallow breathing, half of his body was shaking uncontrollably and the look in his eyes was as he was looking death itself into the eye. She didn't have time to analyze the situation, instincts took over and Cyan turned him on his side. His breathing relaxed a deal, she asked; "Can you hear me, Norman ?", he still could and nodded.  
"Do I call the ambulance ?"  
"I can handle it," he whispered slowly.  
"Tell me when it gets worse."  
After an hour the shaking almost retrieved, Norman felt like he had arthritis all over his body. At least he still had his sense, just lying in bed felt harrowing so Cyan helped him on to the living room sofa. She helped him some water, he was barely able to communicate with half words.  
Suddenly Norman's phone started to ring, Cyan checked who was calling, "It's chief Morgan, should I answer ?"  
He tried to answer something, even he wasn't sure what. That wasn't straight up no so she pushed the answer button, "Jayden," said a voice from the other end.  
"Hello, he can't answer right now, I can tell him to call you back."  
"That would be great, could you tell him to call as soon as he can."  
"Will do."  
________________________________________  
She really hoped that his withdrawal symptoms would end soon but after another hour he was still in that miserable state. Norman hoped also to get better, he tried any mean necessary, unfortunately it was out of his hands. Now he had two reasons, Cyan could tell, she decided to take the matters into her own hands and called back.  
"Hello, Chief Morgan," she started, holding the phone on speaker so he could hear it all.  
"Jayden ?"  
"This is his...assistant," she came up with, "He's going to be unreachable for some time, but I can forward to him what it's about ?"  
"Assistant," she detected a surprise in his voice, "Well okay, tell him that the autopsy report is in, I will be away for some time but I'll leave a copy for him at the front desk."  
"I will."  
"And have him call me."  
"Yes, of course."  
"Bye then.  
"Bye," she closed the call.  
"What do we do now ?" Cyan sat down on the floor, next to his legs and looked straight at him.  
"I shou..." Norman tried to say something, "G..g..go t..t.. sta...on, hel.. m..m...e g..g... dre...ss...d."  
"Really," Cyan almost laughed, "Norman, you can't even say it, how do you expect to actually do it? How crucial is that report ?"  
Norman gathered his strength and whispered; "Might...solve...case."  
Cyan pondered a bit, "I have a plan, do you have the front desk's number ?"  
"Yes," he felt his speech returning, with a growing headache.  
"Great," Cyan said and browsed Norman's phone, she found the number quickly and dialed it.  
"Yes, hello," she said when someone answered, "I am calling in behalf of Norman Jayden, I'm his assistant, chief Morgan left a copy of a report there for mister Jayden...oh, excellent...the thing is mister Jayden was out of town and he missed his flight so he'll be arriving late...yeah, I know, these damn airline, never on time and when you need it the most it leaves early... could it be possible that I pass by and fetch the report...oh, I'm chief Morgan said that it was at most important that mister Jayden got it as soon as possible...yes, good, you are helping out a lot of people, I couldn't be more thankful...be there soon, bye."  
"Assistant," Norman said with an applause in his mind.  
"Now I have to look the part," Cyan was a bit worried, she got up and disappeared to the closet. She arrived back having her most serious clothes on, pinning her hair into a ponytail. Norman wanted to admire her ingenuity but the headache was drowning his mind. Cyan took his work-ID from his suitcase and sat back next to him.  
"Will you be okay ?" she had another kind of worry on her mind now, "I don't have to go."  
"I'll be fine," he replied, "Will you ?"  
"I'm the master of bullshit," she placed her phone on the sofa, "I'll take your phone, if it gets any worse, just a bit, call me, press one for speed-dial, deal ?"  
"Deal."  
"Be strong," she kissed his forehead, took the car keys and dashed out.  
________________________________________  
Cyan took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders, she clipped his ID badge to her t-shirt pulling the jacket over half of it, covering his name and picture. Here we go - she thought to encourage herself, she painted on a most serious face and walked straight towards the front desk. She targeted the only female receptionist, hoping it was the same one she had talked to earlier.  
"Hello," Cyan greeted her, "Chief Morgan left a report here for mister Jayden," she knew exactly in which order to use words to get what was needed, "I'm his assistant, here to pick up the report."  
"Yes, dear," the middle aged woman replied, "You were talking to me on the phone."  
"Really," Cyan faked surprise, "what are the odds."  
"Just wait here, I'll get it right away," she stood up and got something from the cabinet behind her," Here you go, dear, I hope they'll catch that monster," placing the folder on the counter.  
Cyan was totally gob smacked, what just happened, she took a hold of the yellow binder, "Much appreciated," she struggled to keep her voice calm.  
"Nothing do it," the receptionist smiled to her. Cyan almost backed out of the building, she was kind of disappointed in the security of the police but glad to be able to help Norman.  
________________________________________  
Norman wanted to amputate his head, the pain was like seven jackhammers were drilling into his skull. He crawled into a fetal position and rolled down from the sofa. There was a faint memory that he should have done something, but it faded away completely. After a thousand years passed, it felt like that, when in one point his headache passed just to be replaced with scorching heat under his skin. Norman opened his eyes and saw a terrifying sight, the floor around him was covered with small spider like robots, hissing at him. He tried to back away, but the creatures followed him.  
"Cyan!" he shouted, "Watch out!" one of the spiders touched his toe and he almost jumped up.  
He ran to the bedroom and almost fell down from the scary sight of blood pouring down from the ceiling. Panic took over and the spiderbots caught up with him, he had no choice but to back up to the bedroom. The dripping blood smelled like rotten meat and felt nauseatingly warn on his skin.  
He sat on the edge of the bed and for some reason had the notion that Cyan was dead, the worst feeling yet making him almost forget about the rest. He closed his eyes and then felt someone next to him, stroking his cheek. Norman opened his eyes and saw Cyan there, she was transparent blue ethereal figure.  
„Norman," she said, „I need you, I want you, you know what to do to bring me back."  
„No," he tried to resist the temptation, „I want to quit."  
„Don't you want me back ?" she put her arms around him „I love you, don't you love me anymore,?"  
He remembered that the real Cyan had never said out loud anything like that, „You are not real."  
„Help me became real," the ghost pleaded, real Cyan would never had said that. He pushed her away from himself, „You are a poison."  
The image of Cyan, he felt more and more that it wasn't real, fell down to the floor, she looked at him and tears started running from her eyes, „I thought you loved me?"  
„You are not Cyan, you are nothing like her."  
„I am the only one of her left," she sounded almost threatening.  
„What did you do to her ?" Norman looked her straight in the eyes with burning anger in his.  
„Now I'm the only one left," she looked towards the bathroom door just for a moment, he noticed it and started to walk towards it slowly, fearing to see what's in there.  
„I am the only one you need, Norman," she followed him with confidence.  
He saw a bloody hand on the floor and couldn't bring himself to fully open the door, just backed away until his back met the nearest wall and dropped down, feeling extremely dizzy. Something dripped from his finger, Norman looked down and reached a whole new level of horror, his hand were covered with fresh blood. He wanted to believe that nothing of that was real but all he could fit in his head was that, he did it, somehow he had killed Cyan.  
“Aww,” the evil figure of Cyan sat next to him and embraced him softly, “Look what you did for me, Norman, you want to be with me….you do love me.”  
________________________________________  
Upon her return, Cyan found Norman next to the bed, crawled up in a fetal position, in a catatonic state. She checked his vitals, his breathing and pulse were within normal range, only his brain had checked out, there was nothing she could have done, nothing except to wait. She felt oddly calm and settled in on the bed, where she had a line of sight to watch over him. Cyan slid a finger victoriously over the file, opened it and started to read it thoroughly. She got so hooked in that she just had to dig out the rest of the files from his suitcase and go through the materials on the case in hand.  
It was really late, Cyan didn’t even notice when her eyes fell shut and she drifted off to sleep, without ever expecting a violent awakening. She jolted as someone’s hands locked strongly around her throat, there was someone on top of her, trying to hurt her. Cyan’s instincts were quicker that her thought process, fueled with adrenaline, she pushed her attacker off of her and off the bed.  
“Norman!” her brain caught up.  
“You fucking bitch!” he jumped back up, “I will kill you too!” with his deluded mind, Norman saw only the ethereal Cyan, the one who owed him the life of the real Cyan. He planned to get revenge and charged again. He didn’t plan that Cyan would block his move and pin him to the floor, she didn’t have much strength to fight him but enough to hold him in a choking submission hold.  
“Snap out of it,” she said.  
“I can’t,” Norman struggled to answer, “Cyan is dead, I have nothing left.”  
“I’m not dead,” it was obvious that he was hallucinating, “I am Cyan.”  
The shortness of breath slowed his brain enough for the fictional world to start to dissolve, he stopped to fight back, “This is real?”  
“This is real,” Cyan loosened her grip, allowing Norman to free himself. Cyan reached out her hand, he pushed it away and cringed further from her.  
“No, no, no,” his breathing quickened and he had hard time to keep himself from shaking all over, “Oh, god, Cyan, I’m so sorry.”  
He pressed his head on his knees couldn't keep the tears from bursting from his eyes and starter to cry. He knew that he had done the one thing to make him never to deserve her, he had hurt her. He wanted to go to the edge of the world and toss himself down over the edge. Norman felt fully broken, his soul was torn across shattered glass and his heart was bleeding, it was even worse than the fake feeling of him being responsible for her death. Cyan wasn’t that harsh on him, “Norman,” she tried to approach him again, this time he didn’t push her away. Cautiously she crouched next to him and stroke his hair to consoled him, “I’m okay.” “It looked exactly like you,” it was hard for him to talk trough the sobbing but he wanted to give her an explanation, “There was blood everywhere…I thought I had killed you…for tripto….” “Did you take any?” her voice was tense. Norman shook his head, “I wanted to.” “Good,” Cyan sighed with relief. After some time she felt him calming a bit, or just getting used to the miserable state, "It's late, let's go to the bed." He lifted his head up but didn't look towards her, he was too ashamed to even look at her, "I better stay here, if I hurt you again..." "Then I'll kick your ass again," she cut him short, Norman wanted to almost laugh, couldn't bring himself to do that. He did allow Cyan to drag him on the bed and snuggle into his arms, and allowed himself to cradle her delicately.


End file.
